A CAREER IN THE WEEKLES

Toronto, Canada

Today's Date: May 18, 2008, 1:38 am

Episode 17:The Schooling of Greg Pfenning24kbps... 64 kbps...)

Episode 16:The Emergence Ceremony(24kbps... 64 kbps...)

Episode 15:The Island(24kbps... 64 kbps...)

Episode 14:The Community(24kbps... 64 kbps...)

Episode 13:The Aftermath(24kbps... 64 kbps...)

Episode 12: Season 2 Finale - Toronto on Fire (24kbps... 64 kbps...)

Episode 11: Illusions and Jealousy (24kbps... 64 kbps...)

Episode 10: Karaoke and Paint Spray (24kbps... 64 kbps...)

Episode 9: Coutrooms and Vampire Dreams (24kbps... 64 kbps...)

Episode 8: Baby Coco Gets Naked (24kbps...64kbps... )

Episode 7: Battling the Lottery Corp.(24kbps...64kbps... )

Episode 6: Baby Coco collects the lottery cheque

Episode 5: Staff party & rocket launchers

Episode 4: Our First Out of Court Settlement

Episode 3: Our First Lawsuit

Episode 2: Outed by Johnny

Episode 1: Hired ! Original Recording

Discuss ACITW on Universal Metropolis

Brought to you from the fine folks at UMFM.net

Bat Therapy - New Old World Panacea
bat

The oldest recorded bat is the little brown bat, at 34 years old. Nineteen species of bats are found in Canada. At least 6 of these are on the Endangered Species List, many others (nearly 40%) are classified as threatened, rare, or status undetermined.

Photo: ANW

Bottoms up! Staff at the Anti-News Weekly celebrate its inaugural launch with many, many rounds of tequila shooters.

Anti-News Weekly Launches Today

A Career In The Weeklies is a comedic soap opera adventure mystery.

Our hero is Eric Shea, a layabout and secretly asexual drinker who finds himself charmed into the exciting world of Toronto's weekly press. The charmer is a white-suited devil-tongued rascal by the name of Johnny Whispers.

Johnny and Eric meet in a Queen Street bar, and quickly strike up a friendship. Johnny explains that he plans to launch an explosive new newspaper called The Anti-News Weekly - a paper specifically designed to enrage the population of Toronto. He and his sidekick/companion Katrenkia Von Washing Machine convince Eric to follow them into their mad vision.

Johnny seems to have lived everywhere, done everything, and is currently in withdrawal from a severe Gravol dependency. His word is not to be trusted, but he's never had a dull moment in his entire life.

Katrenkia obsesses over Johnny, and pines for the time they spent in the Peruvian jungle together living off of guinea pig meat and wearing guinea pig leather. Eventually her overpowering shame drives her to nail herself into a wooden box of self-denial.

Eric drinks, frets that the secret of his asexuality will come out, worries about losing his mind, and works his ass off for the Anti-News Weekly.

Along the way, they meet such characters as SuperBeth the Kung Fu lawyer, Ace and Krystal the missile-firing potheads, Dave the reluctant porn merchant, slimy Member of Parliament Steve Curtis, and - of course - Baby Coco the lottery winning one year old.

Click on the links on the left to hear season 1. Enjoy !

Visit the 'A Career In The Weeklies' Discussion Board on UM

Glenn Christie (as Glenn Schnappsfeldt) singing 'Prison'
Glenn sings 'Root Cellar'

Cast Bios:

Marc Gorcey

Marc is the writer and creater of A Career in the Weekles, owing to to his fondness of old radio serials. He is a scientist, currently conducting experiments for the Institute of Comedy Research (ICR). His findings and discussion in many other areas of interest can be found on his website, CokeandPepsi.com and hosts a monthly .

Universal Sea

Sea owns and operates UMFM.net and Universal Metropolis, among many other media-related enterprises. Sea has been into acting and music from an early age and appeared in numerous stage productions in Singapore & Burlington. These days you can find him on Internet radio with his weekly Sea@Night Friday night music variety show and alone with his thoughts and guitar on the shitter.

Jessica VanDusen

Jess runs the Visual Stimulus design site and forum. She currently works as a multimedia developer and is acting editor of U-Magazine.com, UM's online magazine and forum for news and other popular items of discussion.

Tim Vant

Trained at Grant MacEwan College in musical theatre, Tim went on to study improvisation at The Second City. After his wrongful dismissal from the Institute for Comedy Research (ICR), Tim was the 2003 recipient of the coveted "Rat Wheel" award. He owes much credit and in fact his life to world renowned dancer and cellist Olaf Piederson. Without Olaf's help Tim would never have broken into Internet radio.

Kristie Filion* Glenn Christie* Lisa Barry* Tracey Nolan* Jason Berger* Dave McKay* Brian Walsh* Paul Gorcey
* RE Lawrence* Kendra Sartorelli* Joel Sartorelli*

The Anti-News Weeky is dedicated to provoking the masses from their long and fitful sleep. It shall succeed by positioning itself exactly 180 degrees from the popular opinion and broadcasting its opinions loudly and directly into the ears and eyes of those who don't want to listen. It shall destroy the inane, eviscerate the beloved, descecrate the sacred. It is necessary to destroy in order to create, and nothing begs for destruction more than the stale, palid hopes and imaginations of the common people. God save Toronto.